The entire Soviet society during the Stalin era was shrouded in an atmosphere of terror and violence, especially the purges initiated in the 1930s, which were completely political persecutions. In the name of political screening, there were false charges, forced confessions, and finally 1.3 million people were convicted, of which 682,000 were executed. In the Soviet Union at that time, many prominent figures disappeared overnight and became enemies of the people, because the situation changed so quickly that textbooks could not be rewritten in time. So schools would collect students' books according to the requirements of the Soviet Ministry of Education, and cross out some contents. The readings for elementary school were reduced by 2/3, which did reduce the burden of teaching and learning for students and teachers.
It can be said that under such a reign of terror, violence eliminated anyone with a little courage and conscience who dared to say no, while the rest lived in danger, not knowing which day they themselves would become the target of persecution because of a word, a false accusation and slander from a neighbor, or even an expression or a look. But no matter how harsh the environment, the Soviets still could not keep their mouths shut and resist telling jokes. According to Freud's theory, humor can distort the dangerous reality into a game, thus reducing the impact of danger on people and dulling people's fear and pain, releasing suppressed emotions a little. So telling jokes is actually a cynical way of survival, a self-protection mechanism that people adopt in a dangerous environment. Of course, through telling jokes, the Soviet people also satirized and denounced the reign of terror and absurd political persecution.
It is said that at four o'clock in the morning, someone knocked on the door of an apartment in Moscow. No one dared to open the door. Finally one resident plucked up the courage to open the door. Those inside could only hear him muttering with the person outside, but could not hear exactly what they said. After a while, the man came back with a bright smile on his face. He happily told the terrified neighbors: Comrades, don't worry, just a small thing, the house was on fire.
Stalin was giving a report at the congress. Suddenly someone sneezed. Stalin asked: Who sneezed? There was dead silence in the conference hall. Seeing that no one answered his question, Stalin was very angry. He shouted: First row, stand up, shoot them! Then Stalin asked again: Who just sneezed? Still no one answered. “Second row, stand up, shoot them too.” Stalin asked again: Who sneezed? At this time, a trembling voice rang out in the hall: It was me, it was me. Stalin said: Take care of your health, comrade, don't catch a cold.
One day, Stalin received a delegation from his hometown Georgia in the Kremlin. After the reception, he found that his pipe was missing and could not find it anywhere. So he called in his confidant Beria and asked him to hurry to catch up with the delegation and ask who had stolen the pipe. Soon after Beria left, Stalin found the fallen pipe under his desk. After a while, Beria came back. Stalin said I found my pipe, how did things go on your side? Beria replied: Half of them have already confessed to stealing your pipe, and the other half died during interrogation.
The professor asked a student: Who is the author of Eugene Onegin? The student was very nervous and said it wasn't me. Then the professor reported it to the department chair, who immediately called his police friend and asked him to investigate who the author of Eugene Onegin really was. A few days later, the police called back and said don't worry, we've figured it out. After talking with the student, he has admitted that he did write Eugene Onegin. (Eugene Onegin is Pushkin's famous novel in verse)
Two friends were walking on the streets of Moscow on a cold winter night. The bitter cold of minus 20 degrees Celsius made them feel very cold. One of them couldn't help but say: I really can't stand it. As soon as he said this, a plainclothes policeman came up and said you are under arrest. The man was very surprised and asked why? The police explained that you just said you can't stand the Soviet Union anymore. The man quickly explained that he was not talking about the Soviet Union, but about the cold weather. The policeman said, you're lying. The cold is bearable. If there is anything unbearable, it must be the Soviet government.
It is said that there is a rule in hell that whoever harmed people on earth, the blood of the victim would submerge the perpetrator. Once when God went to inspect hell, he found that the blood only reached Beria's knees. God was very puzzled and asked Beria: You killed so many people, how come the blood only reaches your knees? Beria replied: Because I stand on Stalin's shoulders.
Stalin went to the premiere of a Soviet comedy movie. He laughed loudly throughout the screening, but after the movie ended, he suddenly asked: I like this movie, but why does the villain have the same small mustache as mine? Everyone was dead silent, only one person timidly suggested: Comrade Stalin, why don't we let him shave it off? Stalin said: Good idea, shoot him after shaving off the mustache first.
It is said that Rabinovich and his wife were taking the tram home. On the tram he couldn't help sighing. His wife immediately covered his mouth and anxiously told him: How many times have I told you, don't talk about politics in public.
Through these jokes, we can see that no matter how violent the reign of terror is, it still cannot completely destroy people's true consciousness. The Soviet people still tried every means to allow their free will a breath of relief. One joke goes like this:
An American, a Frenchman and a Soviet are boasting to each other about who is braver. The American says, 1 in 5 people in our country dies in a car accident, but we still dare to drive. The Frenchman says, 1 in 4 prostitutes in our country has syphilis, but we still dare to go to brothels. The Soviet says, 1 in 3 people in our country is an informant, but we still dare to tell jokes.
Of course, facing this phenomenon, the Soviet authorities would not turn a blind eye. In the Soviet Penal Code, there was a crime called "Anti-Soviet Propaganda", which stipulated that slander, casual discussion, cursing, cartoons, graffiti, distributing booklets and leaflets all belonged to anti-Soviet remarks, which of course also included telling jokes. So many people were also arrested and tried for telling and listening to jokes. So some jokes were born in the Soviet Union to specifically satirize being convicted for telling jokes:
It is said that a judge tried a prisoner who told jokes. As a result, he laughed so hard that he couldn't stand up straight. Another judge asked what was so funny. This judge replied: It's so funny that I sentenced him to 10 years.
There were three prisoners in jail. They introduced to each other why they were locked up. Prisoner A said, I told a joke; Prisoner B said, I listened to a joke and laughed out loud; Prisoner C said, it was all my fault. I went to a friend's house where someone told a joke. I was thinking whether or not to report them the next day, but before dawn I was arrested.
In fact, looking back at the history of Stalin-era Soviet Union today, although there are these satirical jokes, it cannot be denied that the thinking of the Soviet people was extremely distorted. Admittedly, in the human world, violence determines everything. Only violence is the sole source of legitimacy and justice of power. But the perpetrators still like to use the most beautiful ideals and the loftiest goals, use these crude excuses to package and whitewash the violence. So in this environment, those who submit to violence, even if they realize the inconsistency between propaganda and reality, realize the various problems in society, in order to prevent cognitive dissonance and the resulting mental breakdown, they will also make every effort to find reasonable reasons for violence, rationalize and justify fear.
For example, in the Soviet Union at that time, people knew very well that many people were arbitrarily arrested and forced to confess. They themselves were in danger and their days were numbered. But they were still unwilling to admit this danger. They took it for granted that there really were many bad people, so the secret police arrested people everywhere, just that sometimes the methods were a bit excessive, but the motivation was good. These were minor flaws in the work, temporary and local difficulties. When all the bad guys were caught, the ideals would be realized, and these problems would be solved. Even if their relatives and friends, and even parents, were arrested and suffered unfair attacks, few would oppose Stalin and the Soviet regime because of this, or oppose the powerful forces that persecuted them.
Of course people can lie along, and take the truthfulness of lies for granted. But in the quiet of the night, the Soviets were still aware of their own weakness and self-deception, aware of the hypocrisy and sanctimony of the entire Soviet society under the violence and terror. So they began to adopt a self-deprecating approach, satirizing their own powerlessness to resist, while expressing dissatisfaction with society. A joke goes like this:
A survey asked: What is your relationship with the Soviet Union? The first person replied: Like my relationship with my wife, I don't love her, but I still have to endure her. The second person replied: Like my relationship with my wife, I love her but also fear her. The last person replied: Also like my relationship with my wife, I really hope I can get a new one.
It can be said that fear and violence were the most salient features of the Stalin era. The two complemented each other. Fear was maintained by violence, and violence was also the most effective way to maintain fear. Thus, relying on fear and violence, Stalin's personal authority reached unprecedented levels. Everything was under Stalin's control. No one dared to question Stalin, nor ask an extra question after Stalin made a decision. As for Stalin himself, he was also very confident in his power, because of this confidence, he also said many famous words that showed power, for example, he said the death of one person is a tragedy, the death of one million people is just a statistic. He also said, voters decide nothing, vote counters decide everything. Ideas are more powerful than guns, we can give people guns, but how can we let them have their own ideas? Education is a weapon, the effect of education depends on who controls education and for what purpose it educates. Where there are people, there are problems. Where there are no people, there are no problems. Death can solve all problems. Look at how domineering these words are. Naturally, in the face of such extreme personal power, the Soviet people did not miss the opportunity to tell jokes.
It is said that when Lenin was about to die, he called Stalin into the Kremlin. Lenin said: Let me tell you something worrying. Stalin listened attentively and replied: Go ahead, dear Ilyich. Lenin said: That is, will people follow you? Have you thought about it? Stalin categorically said: They will definitely follow me, definitely! Lenin said: I hope so, I'm just worried, what if they don't follow you, what will you do? Stalin replied: Then I have to make them follow you!
Krupskaya, Lenin's wife, accused Stalin face to face of practicing dictatorial rule. Stalin was very angry and said furiously: If you say that again, I will declare that you are not Lenin's wife!
It is said that when the Moscow metro was under construction, the engineer submitted the plan to Stalin for approval. Soon the plan came back with Stalin's signature, and a circular imprint of a tea cup. So Moscow got a circular line.
After Khrushchev renamed Stalingrad as Volgograd, soon another world sent a telegram saying: Agree. It was signed: Joseph Vissarionovich Volga.
Stalin was very confident in his own power, and of course also full of confidence in his policies. He believed that he would definitely lead the Soviet Union to glory. Objectively speaking, the national strength of the Soviet Union did grow rapidly during Stalin's rule, and especially after World War II, it became one of the hegemons of the world. But it cannot be denied that the lives of ordinary Soviet people were not very optimistic, especially the so-called collective farm economic model, which made the Soviet people destitute. But no matter what, the propaganda department of the Soviet Union still propagandized the Soviet Union as the best and the Soviet people as the happiest, so this also became a major source of jokes during the Stalin era.
A collective farm worker Ivan caught a big fish in the river. He happily told his wife when he got home: Look, we have fried fish to eat today. His wife said: We don't have any oil. Then cook it. We don't have a pot either. Then roast it. But we don't have firewood either. Ivan was so angry, but he had to go back to the river and release the fish. As a result, after the fish swam around in the water, it stuck its head out and lifted its right fin excitedly shouting: Long live Stalin!
One day, Stalin called his secretary to his side and asked him to find a Bible for him. The secretary brought it to him very quickly. Stalin then ordered: Find the place where Jesus fed 1,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. I want to know how he did it.
Stalin complained to the provincial governor of Gorky about the rats in his office. The latter thought for a while and said: Why don't you put up a sign? Write "Collective Farm" on it. Half of the rats will starve to death, and the other half will run away.
Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin were riding together in a car on their way to a meeting in Yalta. On the way they encountered a bull blocking the road. Roosevelt got off to persuade the bull to leave but it ignored him. Churchill also got off to persuade it but the bull still ignored him. Finally Stalin got off. He said a few words in the bull's ear and the bull ran away with its tail between its legs. Roosevelt and Churchill were very curious and asked Stalin what he had said to the bull. Stalin said he didn't say anything much, he just told it that if it didn't make way he would send it to a collective farm.
On May Day, during the grand parade in the Soviet Union, a very old Jewish man held up a banner that read: Thank you comrade Stalin for my happy childhood. Soon someone found him and asked: What's that? Are you mocking comrade Stalin? Anyone can see that when you were a child, comrade Stalin wasn't even born yet. The old man replied: That's right.
The annual subscription drive for Pravda began. The worker asked a peasant: Do you want to subscribe to this newspaper? The peasant said no thank you, I don't smoke. (At that time Soviets were used to rolling cigarettes with newspapers)
With the extreme rise of Stalin's personal power and authority, his cult of personality was also unprecedented in the Soviet Union. In that kind of environment, not to mention criticism, even not praising enough, or not praising hard enough, was a mistake. Of course, no matter what, this still did not stop the Soviet people from telling jokes. Let me tell you two more related jokes today.
In a theater, Stalin's portrait and statue were hung and placed on the stage. A speaker was giving a speech praising Stalin, the choir was singing a song to Stalin, and artists were reciting poems praising Stalin. At this time a man came in and asked: What's the activity? The answer: The 100th anniversary of Pushkin's death.
To commemorate the 100th anniversary of the great poet Pushkin's death, the Soviet Union solicited monument designs from the whole society. Finally three works made it to the final round: First one was Pushkin standing on the Caucasus Mountains looking into the distance; Second one was Pushkin being shot and about to fall in a duel; Third one was the Muse of Art replacing Pushkin's laurel wreath. But the winning work in the end was none of those three, but: Comrade Stalin reading Pushkin's works.